Catastrophic Losses

Some of us have experienced catastrophic losses - the death of a child or a spouse or a parent while we were young, molestation or other childhood trauma, certain experiences of war and violence. These were not uncommon in scripture as well. Unfortunately, they are not uncommon in any era of human history. While there is a great temptation to sugarcoat these losses, those who have experienced them know that no amount of reframing, well-wishing, or even therapy will make the pain go away entirely.

Pastor Gerald Sittser, while returning from a family gathering, was hit by a drunk driver. He survived, but his mother, wife, and daughter were all killed. Years later he reflected on that experience, having moved to a place of acceptance. He writes

Catastrophic loss by definition precludes recovery. It will transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same…

It is not true that we become less through our loss – unless we allow the loss to make us less, grinding our soul down until there is nothing left. Loss can also make us more. I did not get over my loved ones; rather, I absorbed the loss into my life until it became part of who I am. Sorrow took up permanent residence in my soul and enlarged it… The soul is elastic, like a balloon. It can grow larger through suffering.

- Gerald Sittser, A Grace Disguised

Scripture does not give easy answers to the hard questions surrounding catastrophic loss. But it also does not pretend it doesn’t exist or try to wipe it away.

Today, meditate on this verse. Hold up to God those - especially yourself, if this describes you - who have suffered catastrophic loss.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18