Doubting Your Doubts

9 When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others. 10 It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them who told this to the apostles. 11 But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense.12 Peter, however, got up and ran to the tomb. Bending over, he saw the strips of linen lying by themselves, and he went away, wondering to himself what had happened. - Luke 24:1-12

Not for the first time and not for the last, the male early Christian leaders unwisely doubted the female early Christian leaders. The women shared what they had experienced and the men doubted.

We can understand why - sure, it sounds ‘like nonsense’ to say that a dead person is alive. But of course the men had had a much longer history of dismissing the women than merely this incident - there were so many others by now, and so many more to come. Unfortunately, even though Jesus appeared first to the women, patriarchy did not die there. There’s so much more to say about this, but not today.

Instead, think about Peter. Peter has that same patriarchal framework in his mind. Peter holds the same doubts about the story they are telling. And yet.

In his endearingly impulsive way, Peter allows himself to doubt his doubts. What if they are right? What if there’s another way to see things? What if I don’t know everything? Curiosity seeps in, and that’s enough to get him moving. Then he gets to experience the empty tomb for himself.

On Sunday, Brenna Rubio pointed out a few things that can be helpful with our doubts. For one, she said, it often helps to take a nap. Secondly, have a snack. Both of those amount to wise self-care, and often it’s when we’re stressed out, hungry, and tired that we have a hard time trusting God. And then she pointed out how wise it is to also doubt our doubts. To ask questions of our questions.

What would be a good doubt for you to doubt today?