Living In the Gray

In our conversations about faith journeys, we have moved from Orientation, to Disorientation, to now Reorientation. In the sermon on Sunday, Brenna shared that often Orientation looks like “everything about faith is good!” while Disorientation might lead with cynicism “everything about religion is bad.” Reorientation, on the other hand, integrates that there is both good and bad.

For many of us, we struggle to grow in the nonbinary thinking of Reorientation. Moving out of the security of black-and-white thinking and into the gray can be deeply troubling, dysregulating, and disorientating. So, is it even possible to feel safe, regulated, and stable in the gray? What might this look like? 

Let’s reflect back to the Psalms. The writings are repeatedly ebbing and flowing in the blurry waters of Reorientation. In one poem the psalmist might lament injustice, question God, and praise God. 

Psalm 69:3, 30

I am weary with my crying;

    my throat is parched.

My eyes grow dim

    with waiting for my God.

I will praise the name of God with a song;

    I will magnify [her] with thanksgiving.

The Psalms invite us into Reorientation, a place of both exploration and security. In Reorientation, we enter into the nuanced dance of spiritual questing. We find ourselves simultaneously venturing out and coming home. In Reorientation, we ask complicated questions. We allow room for uncertainty, not as a threat to our identity or a weapon toward someone else's. We befriend Mystery. We grow in humility and we find our own stability. 

What does it look like for you today to find comfort in the gray? For some of us this week, Reorientation has been reading Psalm 23 with the pronouns of they/he/she for God. Bring to mind one area of your spiritual life that you have questions about and one place where you feel at home to yourself, God, spirituality, community, etc. Breathe deeply as you integrate the questions and the comforts. 

God of comfort,

Thank you for taking us on this Mystery.