Prayer of an Abuse Survivor

*The poem we’re reading today is very intense and may not be appropriate for everyone since it deals with recovery from abuse. Take a moment to check in with yourself and decide if you want to scroll down to read or if you’d rather connect with God in a different way this morning, perhaps with a guided reflection from Pray as You Go or a breath prayer from blackliturgies.

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In 1 Peter 2:24 the scripture says, “He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.” Sometimes the sins we need to have die in us are really not our own; rather, they’re the sins that others have committed against us. They live on in our memories and in our hearts even though we don’t want them to.

As you read this poem, treat yourself gently as you allow the Spirit to bring healing today. There’s no judgment of you today. You don’t have to work up emotions if they don’t come, and you don’t have to hide from them if they do. You get to be wherever you are on your journey of healing. Jesus is here, in all his brokenness, to be present to you and to give you what you need today.

Woman on a Cross

O God,
through the image of a woman
crucified on a cross
I understand at last.

For over half my life
I have been ashamed
of the scars I bear.
These scars tell an ugly story,
a common story,
about a girl who is the victim
when a man acts out his fantasies.

In the warmth, peace and sunlight of your presence
I was able to uncurl the tightly clenched fists.
For the first time
I felt your suffering presence with me in that event.

I have known you as a vulnerable baby,
as a brother, and as a father.
Now I know you as a woman.

You were there with me
as the violated girl
caught in helpless suffering.

The chains of shame and fear
no longer bind my heart and body.
A slow fire of compassion and forgiveness is kindled.

My tears fall now
for man as well as for woman.
You were not ashamed of your wounds.
You showed them to Thomas
as marks of your ordeal and death.

I will no longer hide these wounds of mine.
I will bear them gracefully.
They tell a resurrection story.

• Author unknown