So You Didn't Get What You Wanted

You tried to harm me, but God made it turn out for the best, so that he could save all these people, as he is now doing. - Genesis 50:20, CEV

These are the words of Joseph after he finally confronts his brothers on how abusively they treated him earlier in life. Sometimes it’s translated that “God intended it for good” in the sense that God planned the abuse. Yikes - that’s a scary thought, and fraught with theological difficulties that pastors have often explained away as “God’s will” or “predestination” or “beyond our ability to understand.” And while all of those may be the case, the idea of God destining people for enslavement (as happened with Joseph), in the final analysis, is just plain unbearable.

But what if God - who didn’t rescue Joseph from enslavement or imprisonment - was still at work in Joseph’s life? That’s the thing that many of us (who protest that God would not have ‘planned’ Joseph’s abuse) tend to forget. We tend to leave God way out in heaven somewhere looking the other way instead of still active in the pain, still working for good, still caring for justice, and not far removed.

Inevitably, when it comes to our families, we can write off any pain we experienced in our youth as “God’s will” but perhaps it’s best to do two things: 1) acknowledge both the pain and the anger at God for not preventing it and 2) look for ways that God might still be at work in those very same relationships. It’s only if we can round the corner of #2 that we can move past all of the disappointment of our youth, find forgiveness for ourselves and others, and experience joyful hope for the families we want to create now.

Talk with God about the journey now of facing the past, looking for God’s present in the present, and moving towards a holy future for your family.