The Difference Between Guilt and Shame

Guilt can provide some help to us - it’s like a warning bell going off in our conscience saying, “You’ve done something wrong - go and make it right!” Some of us, of course, have an overactive conscience that will never let us rest, but that’s the exception proving the rule. In general some guilt can be really healthy. It keeps us grounded in healthy relationships by letting us know when we’ve done damage.

But there’s a huge difference between guilt and shame. This important distinction is could be stated simply: Guilt says “I did something bad.” Shame says “I am bad.” Can you see the difference? Guilt has to do with an action. Shame has to do with your core identity - understanding yourself as worthless, as unloveable.

Read through this vulnerable passage from Paul in Romans. He’s sharing about both guilt and shame - and how they often connect (when you do enough bad things, you start to think of yourself as bad). What is standing out to you? Can you connect with what he’s saying?

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? - Romans 7:21-24 (NLT)

And now read on to his next insight - and hold on to these for the day.

Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. - Romans 7:25