What Happens in the Long Term When We Walk Away?

What happens in the long run when there’s a major relational rupture? Here’s one of the key ‘break ups’ in Scripture in the early church:

Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus. - Acts 15:37-39

Paul and Barnabas had been the closest of partners. Earlier on, John Mark had been on the team but he had bailed when things got tough. Barnabas wanted to give him a second chance. Paul did not. No doubt, there were good reasons on both sides. No doubt, there were some impure motives and thoughts on both sides as well. And they split up.

In his later writings Paul mentions the two men he walked a way from. Early on Paul throws shade at Barnabas in Galatians 2 for not being mature enough. But by the time he writes 1 Corinthians, Paul is speaking highly of Barnabas again. And Paul blesses John Mark in Colossians at the end of 2 Timothy, saying “He is helpful to me in my ministry.” Let’s take a look at what is an approximate timeline for these comments:

AD 49 - Paul walks away from Barnabas and John Mark

AD 49 - Paul writes Galatians, not speaking highly of Barnabas

AD 56 - Paul writes 1 Corinthians, speaking highly of Barnabas and John Mark

AD 60 - Paul writes Philemon, indicating John Mark is back on his team

AD 67 - Paul writes 2 Timothy, emphasizing that John Mark is a key person on his team

So if you do the math there, you can see some of Paul’s hurt coming out with Barnabas early on (in 49AD, the same year as the break up). But Paul is speaking differently of both men seven years later in AD 56. And then you see Mark showing up on Paul’s team and finally, almost 20 years later, Mark is an important person on Paul’s team.

We don’t always get to reconcile - some breakups are permanent. And sometimes God calls us not to break up. The passages we looked at today might be an encouragement to never give up hope for reconnecting.

Is there someone who comes to mind for you, who you’ve changed your attitude about over the course of a decade? Is there someone who might be ready for some reconciliation? Is there someone who is clearly not ready? Talk with Jesus about each of these people.