Gentle Political Dialogue

Our last series was about the fruit of the Spirit and our new series is about politics. Perhaps this thoughtful reflection from Dave Neumann might help us tie them together….

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger. 
- Proverbs 15:1

The Book of Proverbs loves to set up dramatic contrasts, often pitting the behavior of wise people against that of foolish people. Obviously, life is never that simple. We’re rarely just one thing or the other. But the stark contrasts are meant to catch our attention. They remind us that we can choose our behavior. And sometimes small choices, often made in an instant, can have significant consequences.

The proverb above points out that when we engage someone in dialog “gently,” or “softly” as older translations often worded it, we can reduce anger. By contrast, a snappy response can generate anger that the person we’re conversing with might not even have been feeling before that moment.

The situation that immediately popped into my head is the frequent forms of electronic exchange we all engage in. I think email is more likely to be fraught than texting, which often takes place with those we feel comfortable with and is aided by emojis, gifs, and other clues that hint at our tone.

I’m often tempted to dash off a quick email, assuming that  it isn’t my fault if someone misunderstands and is offended. After all, I like to tell myself, my intentions were good. But in certain situations I’ve learned to re-read what I’ve written before I send it. I try to imagine how the other person might read my tone and I insert language that aims to communicate “gentleness.” I’ve saved the email recipient--and myself--a lot of heartache by slowing down and taking this extra step. And I know this is just one area where this principle applies.

In what areas of your life could reduce anger and improve connection--with colleagues, friends, family members, partners--by a conscious effort to give a gentle answer in important conversations?