Love is not Fragile

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 – Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

This sounds lovely.  Wouldn’t living in a gathering of people who live like this be wonderful?  This passage is found in a letter Paul wrote to the Corinthian Church.  Paul wasn’t writing to encourage them in the ways of an abstract concept of love.  Paul wrote the letter to address very real and messy behavior within the congregation.  Some congregants were boasting, while others were arrogant in wrong-doing. People were quick to take disputes to court, and they were rigidly set in their way of thinking.

Paul used their issues to demonstrate what love really looks like in practice.  He explains that God’s love is not touchy or delicate.  It’s durable.  Love doesn’t embrace what makes us comfortable and reject the rest.  Love sees people exactly as they are and offers a safe space to sort out the truth.  Paul also helps us see that the opposite of love is not hate, but pride.  Boasting, arrogance, insisting on our own way is inconsistent with love.  Love is humble and open to learning a new way of seeing things.

I have had my own messy relationship with the Church.  I grew up as a hider.  I was gay in a Christian household.  The easiest path was to show people the parts of myself that they were comfortable seeing.  Fortunately, I found God’s love to be pure and embracing even when people’s love was less so.  In that space I found grace, which made me realize that I cannot hide.  I cannot hide because I am a part of this messy thing called ‘the Church’.  I play a role in offering a humble embrace so that other hiders can find a sacred space as well.

As we continue to think about love, I invite you to consider a quote from Rachael Held Evans.

Imagine if every church became a place where everyone is safe, but no one is comfortable.  Imagine if every church became a place where we told one another the truth.  It might just become a sanctuary.

 -Mitzi Myers