Love like it’s the most important work you’ll do in your lifetime
As an analytical thinker (and overthinker! If you guessed Denia, you were right!), I am always questioning systems, particularly those that govern our lives. As a result, it has led to presentations in higher ed about deconstructing unhelpful practices and replacing them with as much intentionality as possible.
“I know it sounds cliche, but when we act and advocate for our students, we are acting from a place of love.” - Me paraphrasing myself *smile*
Definitely not the norm to throw love into a professional learning presentation to faculty and staff. Not in academia anyway, not from my experience either. And it is so relevant and parallels with what God calls us to do: to love.
Speaking of higher ed, a very sweet friend of mine where I work gifted me this inspirational book of poems, prose, and practices. She said she saw it and knew that it was for me. The publication is called, “This Way to Change: a gentle guide to personal transformation and collective liberation” by Jezz Chung and it is now engrossed with my colorful tabs, notes, and highlights.
I would like to share a paragraph from the following section, LOVE LIKE IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT WORK YOU’LL DO IN YOUR LIFETIME:
“Everyone - and especially people who are queer, Black, Brown, and/or disabled - absorbs messages that they’re not enough. Friendship is where we can remember our strength, where we can remind one another we are beautiful and worthy and talented. As the world works to harden us, friendship is where we soften. Friendship among people who have been marginalized, oppressed, and systematically excluded is an act of revolutionary, world-building love… …If love wants to be shared, get out of its way. Let it be expressed without ego, without expectations. This too, is liberation work” (Chung, 2024, pp.174-175).
HOW TO KEEP LOVE ALIVE (p.155), also by Jezz, is a list of 22 various approaches to put to practice. I invite you to review them below and take inventory.
What could you encourage yourself to do more of? In what ways have you honored love and continue to be an extension of love?
HOW TO KEEP LOVE ALIVE
Resist urgency.
Encourage autonomy.
Connect over common interests.
Be open to adventure.
Sit with uncertainty.
Grow apart, come back together.
Initiate novelty.
Celebrate softness.
Maintain multiple sources of comfort.
Prioritize safety.
Disagree without defense.
Do not build a world around one person.
Worlds are built together.
Welcome fluidity.
Shift codependent habits to interdependent habits.
People are not projects.
Study yourself too.
Save some stories for next time.
Celebrate the successes others might not notice.
Process the past just enough to keep moving forward.
Say yes to different forms of love, stay open to different ways of loving.
If you’re afraid of what space will do, think of it as a portal to somewhere new.
- Denia Bradshaw
References
Chung, J. (2024). This way to change: a gentle guide to personal transformation and collective liberation. Chronicle Prism.