Friendship and Conflict

The real power, as you and I well know, is collective. I can’t afford to be afraid of you, nor you of me. If it takes head-on collisions, let’s do it: this polite timidity is killing us. - Cherríe L. Moraga

Real friendship often requires conflict. Depth in families doesn’t come naturally - it has to be fought for. And churches that don’t move past ‘polite timidity’ never find their true potential. But conflict is so hard.

Part of what we lack is vision for it. The book of proverbs supplies one:

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. - Proverbs 27:17

The vision here is of sharpening - of becoming better. A sharp tool is a lot more impactful than a dull one. Oh, but the grinding is hard, isn’t it? It’s painful to disagree, to lean on each other, to disappoint each other, or to argue. And yet, when we do it well, we grow.

There are going to be plenty of opportunities over the holidays to have conflict. Some of those are unhealthy - like getting angry because we’re stressed by various holiday pressures. But some of the conflicts are gifts from God to us - to press into a deeper family relationship, to get to know a friend better.

Ask Jesus for the grace to press into more (rather than less) healthy conflict these days?