The Story of When God Named Me Tiger
#CCLBVoices
As we looked at the disruptive way Matthew 1 shares the genealogy of Jesus on Sunday ("This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah the son of David, the son of Abraham... Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar..."), one thing that stood out was the importance of being named - sometimes re-named. Tiger Veenstra, a CCLB leader, shares their story:
“I've struggled with gender dysphoria and depression all my life. My go-to solution was always to give up on life, partly because deep down I was afraid if I really presented my real self to God, They would reject me. After reading the whole Bible, I was encouraged that the real God of the Universe was not who I had been taught that They were. After a long process of searching and researching, I was willing to risk revealing my whole self to God and trusting Them with all of me.
One night I was struggling and wanting to give up. I knew I could go to sleep wanting to give up and I would probably wake up feeling better the next day. But, for the first time, I decided to choose life. I decided to turn my thoughts away from giving up on life, before surrendering to sleep. I told God I was choosing life and trusting that They would make a way for me, the real me. It was very scary.
The next morning I did wake up feeling a bit better. Then I went to breakfast with a good friend. There was a mix up with the order and the server said, "Tiger, I have your food." There was an earthquake deep in my soul that let loose a sunami of euphoria, letting me know, yes, I am Tiger, but, no, that is not my food. I consulted with those closest to me and everyone agreed that Tiger suited me much more than the name I had been using, and a month later I went to the courthouse to legally change it.
Author's note: Yes, this was a turning point for me, but no, it was not a black and white experience. Yes, I crossed a line. But this was not a one-time deal. This was one step in a long long process of self discovery and revealing myself to God one inch at a time. Becoming Tiger has been a long and winding path I have been on for decades, not a one-time conversion experience.”
What have you been learning about yourself and your truest name or deepest identity lately? Where have you noticed God or friends affirming you in the process? How could you invite Jesus and other safe people in more? Take a few minutes to pray over these things.